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Thursday, February 26, 2015
9th day - 35w1d
It's the 9th day been warded for placenta previa level 3. Will have another 3 weeks before I could actually meet this little creature in my belly.... However, I'm quite nervous to undergo the c-sect. Yes a bit disappointed coz I can't have a normal delivery. I always believe that natural system created by Allah is the BEST. He is the Al might. Since pregnant I hope for natural birth, less complications. But my wishes was not granted this time. Czerian is the only option. The little voice inside me still is hoping for a miracle that the placenta can moved to safer position for normal delivery. May Allah grant my wish. Just like before when I escaped d&c during the miscarriage.

Posted at 05:30 am by mustika
 

 
Monday, July 21, 2014
some things would never change...
Ishkk iskkk… a women heart is so sensitive that even a dust can leave a scratch on to its surface. Honestly are we match made in heaven.. are we really?? I was actually just after my Zuhur prayer. My heart should be pure/forgiving and accepting… but NO. After my salam a flashback of my B screensaver which I saw last night made my heart ached… he tried to cover effortlessly but to me (a wife): every little details is transparent. So my thought goes… he is missing her badly. No wonder he is someplace else even if he were next to me. I HATE THAT FEELING… again and again I still cannot adapt to just accept this. Nothing will happen if I kept things to myself, just swallowing it alone. If… If I were to point this out… it would be another WAR. Both is keeping me from feeling content!!! It started on Friday when: I seriously want to have a date with Mr B… Yes seems like he agreed too.. But unfortunately… he was not 100% there. I am trying to ignore. Try to give myself all the possible reason like: maybe he is tired. Maybe he is thinking on money (which normally turned his mood upside down). So I survived by ignoring… While chit chatting on Sunday: oooo… I got it… he phone his mom on Friday. And everything unfolded… He is feeling bad because he cannot go back to see them due to class schedule and study… My feeling: I am not angry with the mom nor the little one… but I don’t feel happy with this glitch which like a sinus function.. down for a moment and will repeat back… down for a moment and repeat back… and I am not the person that like to swallow bitterness cause I think I had enough… I should just stayed away from marriage…. This was not my place!

Posted at 09:56 am by mustika
 

 
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Sushi King
I suddenly have strong craving for sushi king... never been to any other sushi outlet... Browsing to the menu... I want to EAT.... but i am fasting... I need some dosage on GOOD FOOD...

Posted at 05:01 am by mustika
 

 
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Puhh puhh... tiup2 blog yg berhabuk ni
So much had happened... I couldn't sum up them all... but the biggest one was loosing a baby on the 16th June... so near to my birthday... Since then my world turn upside down.. I changed... I can no more tolerate.. I no more can endure what I endure before.. the big jar of emotional containment is full... any slightest ache and my heart just break.. I want to break free... because I cannot demand the other party to suffer anymore... I will be giving him nothing but unhappiness... Coz my joy has perished... what left in me is misery...

Posted at 10:46 am by mustika
 

 
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Hukhukhuk....
Hukhukhuk susahhhh.... nyerrrr... huuuuuhuuuuwaaa.... huwaaaaa... sob sob sob...

U.N.H.A.P.P.Y

S.A.D

D.I.F.F.I.C.U.L.T

D.I.F.F.I.C.U.L.T

D.I.F.F.I.C.U.L.T

D.I.F.F.I.C.U.L.T

Posted at 06:28 am by mustika
 

 
Thursday, September 26, 2013
test
htf

Posted at 11:40 am by mustika
 

Bitter...
"x paham...bila dh bekerja..masih ada yg perangai bermuka2...double standard..pilih bulu bila berkawan...hairan? jgn rasa diri sudah lebih berpengalaman n bagus.terus buat batasan n lokek ilmu.. igt semua itu pinjaman dr Allah... bukan milik kita"
(a status update of someone)


Yes... it is bitter to swallow when you found out that you were disliked by a person or a group of people...
And being accused of choosy in socializing... though from my point of view.. I am the one that was feeling outcast from the rest..

I alwez thought that I am good... or trying to be good to others...
I don't force people to like me or pretend to make them like me... I don't agree with you but I don't hate you... so the least thing you could do is don't misjudge me...

I was disappointed, cause once I listened to your complaint, pat you at your shoulder, be on your side when you were feeling down though deep inside I know that the other party was not entirely wrong... Now i get my turn... for all that you wrote about me... do you know that I never had bad thought about you... If only you know what sort of respect I have for you...

You even have the guts to email me requesting something cc to all the boss... after I nurture you from the first step you start working for the 1st time...

You mentioned Allah.. putting the blame on me.. But Allah (yg Maha Adil) listened to my prayer when I was asking him to be the judge of the matter.. He lead me to see your status update.. to let me see and realized... what sort of friend you are!!!!

Dearest husband....
Sorry that at time I might not be nice... I might hurt you... As you see...
I was dislike by many.... but I thank you... for choosing me...

Posted at 11:39 am by mustika
Comment (1)  

 
Monday, September 23, 2013
Bitter...
"x paham...bila dh bekerja..masih ada yg perangai bermuka2...double standard..pilih bulu bila berkawan...hairan? jgn rasa diri sudah lebih berpengalaman n bagus.terus buat batasan n lokek ilmu.. igt semua itu pinjaman dr Allah... bukan milik kita"
(a status update of someone)


Yes... it is bitter to swallow when you found out that you were disliked by a person or a group of people...
And being accused of choosy in socializing... though from my point of view.. I am the one that was feeling outcast from the rest..

I alwez thought that I am good... or trying to be good to others...
I don't force people to like me or pretend to make them like me... I don't agree with you but I don't hate you... so the least thing you could do is don't misjudge me...

I was disappointed, cause once I listened to your complaint, pat you at your shoulder, be on your side when you were feeling down though deep inside I know that the other party was not entirely wrong... Now i get my turn... for all that you wrote about me... do you know that I never had bad thought about you... If only you know what sort of respect I have for you...

You even have the guts to email me requesting something cc to all the boss... after I nurture you from the first step you start working for the 1st time...

You mentioned Allah.. putting the blame on me.. But Allah (yg Maha Adil) listened to my prayer when I was asking him to be the judge of the matter.. He lead me to see your status update.. to let me see and realized... what sort of friend you are!!!!

Dearest husband....
Sorry that at time I might not be nice... I might hurt you... As you see...
I was dislike by many.... but I thank you... for choosing me...

Posted at 05:41 am by mustika
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Wednesday, September 11, 2013
difficult
Why is it so difficult to understand a man.... as difficult as to make the understand you.... the romantic novel is has ruined us, gurls... they (men) are not as described by bestseller author (biggest liar...)....

Posted at 02:29 am by mustika
 

 
Friday, September 06, 2013
A date to be remembered..
Yesterday.... was a date to remembered... other details were too P&C... Alhamdulillah.... Allah kabulkan doa kami...

Posted at 07:39 am by mustika
 

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